Taking care of yourself can be demanding most times. Add to that having another person to  take care of, by yourself, and it can be overwhelming. How do you cope as a single parent and stay sane?

Before I go any further, I want to applaud all single parents who have been taking care of their kid(s) without help from their (ex) partner. You are really exceptional!

As a single parent, the journey can be a tightrope walk. You are probably juggling your work, your domestic life with serving as a mum and dad for your child.

You already have a huge task in your hands and this article is meant to help you take charge of your life as a single parent without losing yourself in the process.

Taking charge as a single parent – exerting the right control

Since you are probably the only one playing the role of a parent to your child, it is important that you set up rules to make things easy for you. This is especially important when it comes to how you expect him to behave.

You need to set some clear House Rules that your child can abide by and face the consequences when he steps out of line. The following according to a certified parent coach, Jennifer Wolf, will come in handy:

Set ground rules

Have at least 3 to 5 rules for your child to abide by to prevent him from misbehaving.

Develop a serious and firm tone

You love your child no doubt, but there comes a time when you have to be stern. Your child needs to differentiate when you are joking and casual from when you are serious. The best way to do this is to have a stern tone for such occasions when the situation calls for it.

Praise him more often

While your child may tend to misbehave most of the time, do not forget to praise him appropriately. When you emphasize the good he has done more than the bad, he will feel loved. You can as well make use of Reward Charts to encourage more good behavior from him.

Separate or redirect

If there is something that is causing your child to misbehave, it is a good idea to separate him from that thing. You could as well redirect his attention to some other thing. If the distraction if his mobile phone, take it way. If it is the television, turn it off. You can set him up for a craft or skill learning to occupy him.

Set a boundary

Part of being a great parent is letting your child know when he steps out of line. The ground rules should contain the boundaries he is not allowed to overstep. There should also be some consequences for the times he flouts the rules.

Time-out

This is a time and place your child is allowed to think about what he has done wrong. This could range from 2 minutes, 10 minutes or as long as you deem fit. The quiet time will allow him some reflection time and possibly help him understand that his actions are unacceptable.

Overlook it

Sometimes your child is throwing up a tantrum just to get your attention. If it is for a good reason, attend to him. However, if he has turned it into an attention-seeking gimmick, do well to ignore him. He will stop using it once he realizes that his motive has been detected.

Spending time together – connecting with your child

Sundays are for bonding

There is something about Sundays because then you have the entire day to spend with your child. The times spent together are always the times our children remember the most. Make Sundays a time to spend a full day being involved with your child. You could go out for a picnic, go to the movies, or just head to the park for some recreational activities.

You can also make it a cooking and eating together day with your child. Just think of whatever can make the bond you two share stronger and get involved in it.

Build a routine

You can allocate time for some chores or other activities that you and your child do together. It could be trimming the lawn together and doing his laundry. It becomes fun when you too get involved in an activity.

Turn mealtimes to “we time”

It’s alright to find out how your child is doing at mealtime. It is a good time to share in his day and share yours with him.

Get involved in family games

Think ‘hide and seek,’ Pokémon, Scrabble, card games or TV games. It is a great way to bond and also ease off stress accumulated during the week.

Help out with homework

Getting involved in your child’s homework is another way of sharing time with him.

Other ways to connect more with your child

Take turns interviewing each other

Taking turns to ask and respond to questions is another fun way of bonding with your child. You get to ask and be asked deep questions that call for honest answers. It is also a way to reveal how each of you feels about certain situations and each other. There is no judgment here but a simple heart-to-heart discussion.

Listen actively

Make an effort to attentively listen to your child even it if looks like he is not making sense. We all crave for that person that listens to us. Teach your child how to do this by playing the role for him.

Tips for retaining your sanity as a single parent

• Get in touch with other parents, co-workers and single parent groups.
• Set out time for yourself no matter how little. It could be soaking in a hot bath before bedtime or watching a late night movie. Anything whatsoever that helps you pull it all together.
• Do not hesitate to ask for help when the need arises.

In whatever you do, remember that you are only one person and can hardly play the role of two persons always. It’s alright to cry and confide in someone. No one is perfect and you shouldn’t get worked up when things don’t always go the way you want.

It might be challenging today as a single parent. However, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Stay strong and feel free to take this discussion further in the comment section.

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