Do you have to be a perfect parent to be a good parent?

Peer pressure and society does not allow most parents to do things their way. If they try, they may be shamed, ridiculed and looked down upon for possessing bad parenting skills. While young parents still get trapped into society’s norms of bringing up perfect children with perfect parenting hacks, it is relatively easy for mature parents to deal with things in a more sensible way. That being said, parents of any age group can be a victim of societal pressures. They can focus on being a perfect parent and forget about being a good parent.

According to the renowned child psychologists and experts, the parent’s way of dealing with their children has a great negative/positive impact on their overall personality which later affects their educational and professional achievements.

Here are some of the reasons why it is important to be good parents and not a perfect one.

Too much strictness stops the child from exploring:

A strict parent does not allow the child to explore things in his own. Instead they try to impose their ways on him. Doing this, you’re most probably the biggest obstacle in allowing his brain’s capabilities to naturally react to things and solve small problems on his own. Keeping a strict check on every other movement/activity is really harmful to the child. It does not allow his own personality to grow positively.

Being extra protective makes your child under confident:

I used to be extra conscious when my son was born, making sure everything was clean and sterilized. washing my hands more frequently, etc. And when he started daycare at 4 months old, he went just 4 days and had to stay home 3 weeks sick with all the germs he contracted (gastroenteritis, pharyngitis with fever…). I just wanted to protect him, but I’m not sure that was the best way to go about it! I learned to let go a bit, especially in terms of him exploring things.

If you’re extra protective with your child, you might end up hurting them. There’s nothing wrong with feeding organic only, washing your hands frequently, or protecting your child. But if you’re preventing him from dealing with his own problems, such as intervening with his play with other children unnecessarily, he won’t learn to cope. You may want to make sure he never cries, but you’ll just make him afraid to try. All children need some privacy, and space to deal with situations, even if their ways are childish. Experiencing 99% positive results may not be positive in the long run.

Not allowing them to create a mess might result in an unhealthy brain development:

Children create messes when they explore. The mess in the high chair, bathtub or kitchen is just your child trying to learn on his own! It may seem non-creative and disordered to you. But parents who allow their kids to freely examine things they want, regardless of the damages they cause, are the ones raising children with higher self-esteem. And those kids may develop some amazing talents too!

Not allowing physical touch between the parent and the child cause low self-esteem:

Physical touch is as important as bringing up a child with manners and right moral values. If you’re hesitant on making a physical connection with the child, such as hugging, kissing, and cuddling, then this might cause a low self-esteem in the child who is not confident enough to deal with the tough situations in life.

Not giving your children privacy can make them a liar

A common mistake that most of the parents make while trying to perfect is that they would love to know everything about their child. As soon as the kid will enter the house they will start asking questions. There are chances that you child has broken some of the rules. In the fear of being punished they will start lying to you. It is better that you give them some space and privacy.

1. Your behavior might irritate your kid and it will make him frustrated. He/she will stop sharing things with you.
2. Do not push your children to tell you everything. Give them some time because your kid will soon come to you to share his problems.
3. If you notice that your child is stressed, only ask him once about the issue. Let him calm down so that he can share it will you.
4. It is important that you attentively listen to the stories that your child is sharing with you even if they are wasting your time. Appreciate your child for all the good things that he has done.

Also, complaining about the child in front of the others, their teacher, other parents, their friends etc. creates anxiety and he will stop believing in himself that is a negative sign for bringing up physically and mentally healthy kids.

Let me know what you think in the comment section. We always tend to do more, thinking we could be perfect. While all they want is just us being there for them and being their loving parent.