Tactfully turn challenge into opportunity

Every child struggles with one thing or another. It’s can be a struggle academically, behaviorally or socially. But your child’s challenges are all part of the growth process that every kid goes through.

If you have a child that is struggling, naturally you will divert all your attention to him or her. You may get so engrossed in the situation that you can feel helpless each passing day.

What can you do?

You can take your child to counseling or tutoring. You may have to deal with him not doing his homework, or arguing with him about failing to meet up with his responsibility. It can be emotionally and physically draining. It gets worse if you have to juggle all that with office work.

Perhaps you are reading this piece because you have a child that is struggling and need help on how to go about it. There’s hope. You can tactfully turn your child’s struggles into opportunities. Your child will turn out pretty well in life.

There’s hope!

Albert Einstein had his own struggle in life as a child. He struggled with dyslexia but today, he is certainly remembered for his great achievements.

Don’t give up hope, yet. Here are ways you can turn it all around for your child:

Understand your child

It’s always very tempting to want to interrupt your child and tutor him or her on how things should be done. If you have been using this method and failing, don’t you think it’s time you tried something new?

The first step to helping your child is to really listen to the child. This is not the time to offer words that will boost your child’s self-esteem. Time for that will come. But at that moment, just give him a listening ear and try to understand his perspective and why he is struggling.

Don’t sweep it under the carpet

No matter how silly your child’s complaints may sound, you should not ignore any warning. Issues become really big as a result of initial neglect. Trying to wish away a complaint from your child could be disastrous. You have listened to him or her; now is the time to act on it.

If it’s something that needs your advice, then honestly advise the child. And if the issue is beyond your control, seek professional help. You can reach out to your doctor, to a counselor, to their school, or to your local family support office. With that, you will be able to nip the problem in the bud and turn it around in your child’s favor.

Locate a support group

It is often said that a problem shared is a problem solved.  You can always find and reach out to support groups. When my son was struggling, I reached out to a variety of support groups. It was one of the best decisions I took because he was able to see other kids who had the same struggles he was going through. These kids provided him with comfort. And the groups gave us both resources and support. The support groups helped my son overcome a particular challenge he was going through at the time.

Use his strength to reinforce his weakness

Don’t you wish there was an instruction manual? But everything isn’t about getting a test to gauge how your child is progressing with his struggles. When you pay so much attention to the child’s weaknesses, you tend to overlook his strengths. By encouraging the child in the areas he is very good at, you can build the foundation for offering help in the areas he isn’t doing so well in.

Quit relying on your child for validation

You need to allow your child develop at his or her own pace. Your role as a parent is to encourage and support your child and not to push him into becoming what you want him to be. Many parents who weren’t as successful as they wanted to be at their child’s age have this need to ‘force’ their children into achieving that which they couldn’t achieve during their time.

I remember vividly what the late Stephen R. Covey, author of “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” wrote about his son. In the book, he noted how he and his wife tried to change one of their kids who was struggling in academics and sports in school. They thought they could succeed by pushing him to do things their own way. Well, they never made headway with that.

It was when they decided to allow the child develop at his own pace without expecting much from him that the child made a huge turnaround. This same child went ahead to lead in sports and also in his school leadership.

Finally, don’t give up on your child.

You are certainly not alone.  Parents all over the world search online for help with children’s mental health, learning struggles or behavioral challenges. This shows that it is a serious issue. However, many of the kids have gone on to surprise their parents beyond their expectations.

We would love to know what you think about this article. Was it helpful? Did we miss anything, or do you have a suggestion? Let’s chat in the comment section.

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