I remember my teenagerhood as an exciting period but it was also challenging in terms of coping with my parents. Today I completely understand them – they were worrying. Even though I wasn’t a troublemaker, the puberty in and of itself is more than enough for parents to stay alert 24/7 and increase their need to know everything their kids do. You want to keep an eye on your teenager, just like me.
Luckily, times have changed
I hope we can agree on the fact that different theories regarding parenthood have helped us evolve as parents and relax when it comes to our teens. Use the right parenting approach and you won’t have to spend sleepless nights when your teenager goes to a party. What else can you do to make sure your teen is safe while avoiding to invade their personal space?
Here are your essentials.
Build strong communication channels.
When you talk to your kid, stick to communication, not interrogation. Show genuine interest in their stuff and don’t judge them for their flicks. If they feel you accept them and listen to them properly, it is more likely they will tell you they are going to a party instead of sneaking out to a party.
Read more: How to communicate with your teen
Keep the limits realistic.
You can’t expect your 15-year-old to be back home by 8pm and you can’t dictate the type of clothes they will wear. You cannot choose their friends. Strict limits are often counter-productive, so make sure your rules make sense – it increases the chances that your teen will respect them.
Support their independence.
By allowing your kid to, for instance, choose their own hobbies or food they will take to school, you are allowing them to grow responsible. More responsible children means more peace for you. Knowing your teen is liable and resourceful, you won’t have to check up on them all the time.
Forget about judging your teen’s style.
Remember your teenage days? Was there a crazy hairstyle matching silly clothes? Were there any posters of bands your parents were finding awkward? The same awaits you as a parent. Trends change at the speed of the light, and teenagers are into experimenting with their appearance and taste in music (which is, as you know it, totally related). Take a look at your old photos and understanding your teens will be much easier.
Read more: What are the benefits of positive parenting?
Don’t be a control freak.
Keeping an eye on your teenager shouldn’t include endangering their privacy. Their phone, computer and diary should be off-limits to parents. They need some parent-free space where they can express themselves. Foster quality communication from their early age and they will tell you everything you need to know – no need to hack their social media or steal their diary.
Communicate with your child’s teachers.
If you are afraid that there is something strange going on with your teen and you can’t get to the bottom of it, your kid’s teacher may have more answers. Make sure to maintain active and open communication with your kid’s teachers and feel free to reach them if you feel the need.
Communicate with other parents.
It’s good to have the numbers of some of the parents of kids your kid hangs out with. Sometimes your kid will stay later at a birthday party and they might miss your call if the music is too loud. Now, be sure not to misuse it and call them every time your kid is 5 minutes late.
Avoid hostility.
If your teen hears you yelling at them all the time, trying to catch them doing something wrong, overwhelming them with fears and ultimatums – you might become the bad guy in their eyes. Whichever problem you encounter, you and your kid should talk it through openly, without starting unnecessary arguments.
Don’t panic.
Lots of “firsts” are coming in this period of your child’s life. It’s the natural time for that. Facing numerous fears, we often forget these “firsts” are mostly nice things – first party, first concert, first kiss. Refocus and remember puberty is not only the time to get into troubles but also to find out how beautiful and exciting youth can be.
And, hey, although teenage years play an important role in a person’s development, it’s nothing you should worry about too much. Act natural and let your teen know you are there for them, no matter what kind of circumstances puberty has prepared for them. But always respect their freedom and privacy.
What is the secret ingredient in your communication with your teen? Go on, share your views with us in the comments.
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