How to improve communication with your kids and get them to listen
Children’s minds are like a butterfly flying from flower to flower. Sometimes it is quite challenging to get them to stick to a certain topic. Their favorite toys are all over the place, their favorite cartoon is on YouTube, and they have so, so many questions they want to ask you. But do they want to listen to you? They do, of course, but you need to find that magic combo that will lead you to that. Here are some tips to help you get your kids to listen.
Establish an emotional connection.
Keep in mind that two-way communication is the only way to make your talks meaningful and successful. More than just an exchange of information, it is also an exchange of emotions.
So, when you are talking to your kids, you should also listen to them and show it actively. Acknowledge their thoughts and ideas, no matter how silly they seem. Answer their questions. Give them a proper emotional response. That way you increase the quality of the overall communication and your kids are more likely to listen to you.
Modify your ways of expression.
A touch of positiveness is always welcome. Kids just hate when we boss them around, criticize them in a super negative tone and forbid them from doing something.
The trick is simple – turn the negative statements into more proactive and positive ones. For instance, “Stop leaving your toys all over the place, you’re driving me nuts” is probably another sentence gone with the wind. Try saying “Would you please help mommy and be more careful with your toys?” instead.
Keep it simple.
In order to communicate your message to your child clearly, you need to communicate it in a way they apprehend – so try using fewer words when you are explaining important stuff to them.
One big piece of information per sentence is just perfect. Piling up information and emotions into a big chunk will create a huge confusion, as children’s abstract thinking is still in development and they are not able to always hear what’s really important in piled up information. So to get your kids to listen, keep it short and simple.
Make the talks a part of daily routine.
Try to establish regular talking activities from the children’s earliest age. Start with bedtime reading or telling them interest stories of your own – it’s a great “training” for the future.
Adopt habits such as talking about their day. Let them tell you about that cartoon they’ve just seen. Such small talks mean a lot in building the two-way communication in which your child learns how to listen as well.
Follow your child’s leads.
Sometimes it’s not that our kids don’t want to listen to us but maybe they want to do it later. Your challenge is to recognize the right moment to talk to them. Maybe it is after they finish the episode of this exciting series. Maybe it’s when they get some sleep.
You want your child’s full attention, so you will have to sense the moment when their full attention will be available to you. Otherwise, your words won’t be heard. So to get your kids to listen, pick your moment!
Don’t yell.
Shouting out the information at your kids will almost always end up without any positive result. Sure, maybe your child will eat their broccoli or pick up their toys, but the yelling affects their emotions. They might start feeling insecure around you if such communication accumulates.
Anything can be said nicely, and it is a way to build more efficient long-term communication quality.
Stay patient.
Most of the kids have their minds all over the place, which often frustrates us as parents. Try to stay calm when your child won’t listen to you, as frustrating over it or being openly angry about it won’t do any good to any of you. Teaching your child how to listen is a long-term process and to this process, patience is essential, as serious results never happen instantly.
Insist when it comes to big things.
Sometimes there is no time for making the perfect circumstances to make your child listen to you. In these cases, mark the gravity of the situation clearly and let them know they have to listen to you. Kids usually have strong empathy, so this should not be a problem – they will feel it is important for them to listen to you.
Finally, to make your struggle meaningful, don’t forget you should also listen to your kids. Follow their needs and emotions and respond to them properly. Don’t get all openly bored when your kid tells you the story about a cat they saw for the third time. The communication is possible only when both sides are listening. If you want to get your kids to listen to you, then start by listening to them.
What are your best tips for get your kids to listen better? Share them in the comments!
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