How to communicate with your Teen

Parents who say teenagers should come with a manual are not wrong at all. Knowing how to communicate with your teen is tricky at times. They are going through a number of changes during this breaking point of their lives, and sometimes they act completely different from the child you were raising.

When that happens – don’t worry, it’s not because you did something wrong. It happens naturally. Yet, there are many things you can do to maintain quality communication with your teenager.

Here is a list of Do’s and Don’ts to help you orientate.

#1 Don’t

Don’t pressure your teenagers to tell you every secret.

#1 Do

Teenagers are sensitive about their privacy, so give them time to tell you their secrets. IF they don’t want to, don’t make a big deal out of it. I mean, we all had our little secrets we would never share with our parents and that’s totally fine. Pressuring your teenager to open up may cause adverse effects.

#2 Don’t

Don’t highlight the fact that your teenager has changed.

#2 Do

Teenagers are very aware that they are going through a number of changes – well, it is impossible not to notice mustache or all those mood swings – so they don’t need us to keep telling them “you’ve changed so much”.
It can create a confusion in them and make them feel like they have failed your expectations. Follow their changes silently, without making them feel it is something unusual.

#3 Don’t

Don’t be ignorant when it comes to your tone of communication.

#3 Do

With teenagers being extra sensitive, we need to pay extra attention to how we say things so make sure not to use conflict-inducing types of tone and try not to sound bossy or judgemental.

Of course, please drop that “I am your mother and you’ll do what I say” tone of voice. That kind of communication naturally encourages their rebellion against their own parents. There is always a better way to tell them what you mean.

#4 Don’t

Don’t neglect family activities.

#4 Do

Whether your family enjoys everyday meals together or organizes a movie night once a week, you should stick to that tradition. It is easy to say your kid is big now and they can watch films on their own however these small things vastly contribute to family bonding and quality communication.
Your teenager has to have the feeling that they belong with their family, which isn’t always easy during the teenage years.

#5 Don’t

Don’t forget to listen to your child.

#5 Do

Sometimes we are just too quick to judge and accuse our children without actually listening to them.  Before you jump to any conclusion, be sure to hear their side of the story. because it could be that the problem you’re having is just a huge misunderstanding.
Listening is essential even when there are no problems – that’s how you learn to understand your kid and maybe prevent some of the problems.

#6 Don’t

Don’t be angry all the time.

#6 Do

Teenage anger is nothing unusual. Unfortunately, parents that are responding to anger with anger isn’t unusual either.
When your child’s anger, driven by the hormones, manifests itself in its full glow, make sure to be the one who will soothe things. Suggest some constructive solutions and activities rather than yelling back at your teenager.

#7 Don’t

Don’t give your teenagers instant solutions.

#7 Do

Telling your children what to do all the time is a double danger because it prevents them from becoming independent and it can trigger rebellious responses. You should drop the instructions and let your kid come up with their own solutions, be it their art project, organizing their time or doing the chores.

This doesn’t refer to those situations when your child asks you for help – in that case, it’s okay to offer them a few ready-made options.

#8 Don’t

Don’t compare your child’s puberty with your own memories of puberty.

#8 Do

Keep in mind that it is perfectly normal for different generations to have a different experience of teenagehood.

Your kids probably have a vastly different lifestyle than you did when you were their age. Their worldviews probably differ from yours, they are simply into different things. Try to accept them as much as you can without judging their choices. Their crush on a popular YouTuber is as valid as the crush you had on your favorite singer during your teenage days.

And, finally, I can only recommend you to pay attention to your child’s individual development. Every teenager is unique, and only by paying attention to what they say or do you can establish a quality communication.

Do you have any advice for all the parents of teenage kids? Give us your insights in the comments below!