That sweet moment of welcoming a child into your family is filled with excitement. We anticipate our journey as parents, but we can also be a little bit intimidated by this journey. How do you bond with your child? Parenting is rewarding, but at times it can be difficult!

What we think it will be like before having children is often not realistic. It can be a lot harder than we think — and often, it seems easier to let those more experienced do it for you. But every child needs their parents. You can do this! Do just a few things every day with your babies and you’ll set up that most important relationship for life.

Parents are – and should be – the most important people in their child’s life.

It can’t be stated enough. The easiest and most effective way to form those bonds with your child is to simply spend time with them. Spend time with your baby. The deepest bonds children form start in infancy. So carry them. Hold them close. Hold them often.

You cannot spoil an infant. It is not only developmentally important for children to be held frequently, it’s important for parents. Don’t let anyone discourage you from doing what comes naturally. Cuddle your baby, snuggle with them, and adore them. It’s the best thing you can do.

Feedings are perfect times to develop those bonds

Breastfeeding your infant is one of the best ways to help bond with your new baby. But if you choose not to, or you are unable to, you can still develop that close bond.

When you feed your baby, look into their eyes. Acknowledge them as people. It may seem pointless, since they will probably not remember those moments. But just the eye contact and affection form connections in their brain that will shape how they think, trust, learn and grow as adults. These little things are what introduce your baby to love.

Be there for the firsts

There’s nothing more special than seeing a child’s first smile. The first time they roll over, when they sit up and crawl are incredible moments to witness. You’ll treasure the first time they laugh. And those first steps? Well grab your phone and start videoing.

There are so many first-times in your baby’s life. And each of those moments are opportunities to celebrate your child. You can only take advantage, though, if you’re there to see them! Be there, and strengthen the bond with your child.

Talk to your child before they can talk.

Talk to your baby. This is one secret to a close parent-child relationship. Talk to your baby. Do it again and again. And again. Keep doing it. This point can not be over emphasized. Talk to your baby any chance you get. Tell your baby how much you love him or her, and introduce him or her to the rest of the family.  Point out interesting things you see to your baby. You can talk about anything.

This helps your child subconsciously know you and your voice. And this is also the beginning of your child’s education. Talking to your baby increases your child’s brain development. So talk to your baby. You have nothing to lose, but a lot to gain from it. Talk to your baby and bond with your child.

Keep doing this till your baby can talk back. Once this happens, start holding conversations. Children who are immersed in language are better readers, better learners and have better academic and social skills.  Plus, these conversations are great opportunities to start developing your child’s mental health. You can build their self-worth, beginning in infancy.

Play with your baby.

This is one step some parents skip. It’s so easy to get busy, and sit a child down with toys, and move on with your tasks.  But playing with your baby gives you so many opportunities, it’s a shame to miss out.  Play with your baby and bond with your child.

It’s during play that children learn best, especially in the early years. And shared enjoyment of activities cements the bonds of love and affection between people. When you play with your baby, not only do you help them learn, grow and develop, you’re also giving them that foundation of love.

Get involved in their lives.

Education is a huge part of your child’s life.  Education doesn’t start when they go to school, but starts in infancy. If you just leave education to the “professionals”, you’re missing out on a fantastic chance to help your child.

It starts with the conversations and playtime you give them as infants. As they grow, continue to give them age appropriate materials, and interact with them in using it. Build towers of blocks, make the noises that their cars and trucks make, and let them get messy with the paints. Do things with them, and bond with your child.

Read with your child.

One of the absolute best things you can do, both for their education and to bond with your child, is to read to them. Sharing stories involves interaction, conversation, language learning, and closeness, as you hold them next to you to read.

But you don’t have to just read stories. Read signs as you go shopping. Read the newspaper to them, or the text from Grandma, or the joke that made you laugh out loud, even if they don’t understand it. Read to your baby and bond with your child.

Learn together.

Whether this is a formal class you take together, or just exploring a hobby, learn with your child. Take them alongside you while you garden, and look up the names of the plants together. Or take a family pottery class, and make art together.

Learning together is an amazing bonding exercise. As you do the activities with your child, you’ll foster a better relationship. Even something as simple as having a special tv show you always watch together improves that bond.

Listen to your child.

Those endless questions can often wear on your nerves. But it’s typical of childhood for your child to always have questions. No matter how silly they sound, listen to them and talk to them.

This does two important things. It improves your child’s confidence in themselves and also increases their trust in you.  Try to always listen, no matter how busy your are. Never let your child feel he or she can’t ask you a question. It leads to children keeping secrets. And some secrets can hurt!

If you don’t know the answer to one of their questions, tell them that! It’s ok to not have all the answers. Your kids will actually appreciate that, because they will know that when you tell them something, it’s going to be true. They will know they can trust you to always tell them the truth.

It’s never too late to start.

As long as they are still children, you can still develop these bonds. Even if they aren’t infants any longer, you can still play with your kids, and change the relationship. Listen to them, talk to them, do things with them. Spend time with your kids, and watch them grow happier and healthier. Give your child all the love you can. They need it from you more than from anyone else.

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