Emotional Skills & Your Kids: What you NEED to Know

Emotional development is often forgotten.

As important as other types of development, emotional development is often neglected in the early years of children’s development. This is not too unusual. I know many parents who are completely devoted to their children’s development, but they focused on their child’s physical and intellectual prowess.

There is not much time left for stuff such as emotional skills when you direct most of your energy to other pillars of child’s development. Yet, without the efforts to support your child’s emotional intelligence, their childhood may be incomplete.

The consequences are clear years and decades later when they feel unable to open their heart and soul, say what’s really on their mind, build strong self-confidence or empathize with others.

There are easy ways to prevent this. You can use common tools and strategies to help your children learn emotional skills, and to develop their emotional intelligence.

Here are some techniques I personally find most efficient.

Talk feelings

When your kid experiences an emotionally intense situation, whether it’s related to good or bad stuff, you can help them recognize and name their feelings. While the kids are still little, emotion cards with faces expressing different emotions can also help.

Reinforce reading

Start by reading bedtime stories to your child while they are still in the crib. Continue by introducing them to picture books. Take them to libraries and book fairs from their early age. It is scientifically proven that reading is a perfect tool for developing emotional intelligence in children, and that’s only one of the benefits.

Allow your kids to express negative feelings

Anger or sadness may not be the most pleasant feelings in the world, and crying may be annoying, but suppressing negative emotions is far worse than those very feelings. Don’t try to distract your child from coping with negativity, as that would also prevent them from coping with the problems behind such emotions. Embracing all the emotions and learning how to deal with them is the essence of emotional intelligence.

Help your child learn about healthy coping techniques

While it is natural to feel negative emotions, it is of high importance to teach your child not all ways of expressing negative emotions are socially acceptable. For instance, anger should never be expressed as aggression. Healthy coping mechanisms include discussing emotions, counting to 10, deep breathing etc. If expressing negative emotions in unhealthy ways is a pattern, you might need an expert’s help.

Encourage their kindness

Expressing positive feelings through a routine is an emotional investment with a great return. Showing genuine interest in conversations, saying words of kindness and smiling are all signals which contribute to building stronger and more pleasant social relationships, which are the playground for emotional development.

Make volunteering a family practice

Any type of volunteering can be valuable for increasing a child’s emotional IQ but the most efficient options are related to volunteering in all sorts of charities related to people and animals. The charity practices reinforce empathy (and kill apathy, while we are at it). Your child will feel much better knowing that they are making the world a better place and it will help them sort their emotions more efficiently.

Drama therapy

If you detect that your child has problems understanding other people’s feelings, it’s time to play some games. As recognizing the emotions of others is one of the key aspects of emotional development, you need to work on it, and you can do it through role-play situations. Allow your child to play the role of someone else and insist on their definition and understanding of how that other person really feels. It is a game that’s great for conflict-solving, and, although it takes time to show its efficiency, it is emotionally enriching.

Watch cartoons

Cartoons, especially classics we all love, are actually quite a handy tool when it comes to teaching emotions. You will notice the characters are usually drawn in specific ways, sometimes overemphasized, so their emotions would be clear to the kids who yet have to learn about all the feelings. This is a common practice in Disney and Pixar animated films. You can start by watching “Inside Out”, an Oscar-winning animated movie where different emotions are the protagonists.

Encourage socialization

Schedule some playdates, meet families with children from your neighborhood, enroll your kid in classes and courses. Emotional intelligence is developed within relationships with others, so none of the tricks works without someone to share them with.

Model healthy emotional skills

Finally, make sure you are not displaying any toxic emotional practices. Children learn from us and often copy our emotional mechanisms, so we need to try our best not to give them any bad materials.

Any tips on emotional IQ? The comment section is all yours!