You can easily notice when your child feels good about himself and when he doesn’t. That type of feeling is usually referred to as self esteem. As parents, you need to know how to build your child’s self esteem.

Why self-esteem is important for a child

Looking at self esteem definition, I realized that setting this up early enough in our children is very important. It affects every area of their lives as they grow. When your child feels good about himself, it sets him up for success.

Positive feelings such as self-confidence and self-acceptance will help your child in coping with mistakes and challenges in school.

On the other hand, kids with low self esteem are usually insecure and unsure of themselves. Such kids might refuse to participate or try out something new because they feel they will not succeed at it.

They are quick to give up and are not willing to try again after failing the first time. One of the popular self esteem quotes says that low self esteem blocks success.

How does self esteem develop?

In a quest to discovering how to build self esteem, I was surprised to learn that contrary to popular belief, self esteem does not come by telling your child he is great, special, and wonderful.

These words are important, but it is possible for a child to feel good even after failing. Your child will only appreciate a prize when he knows that he really earned that prize. And this is usually through his practices and hard work.

In a nutshell, self-esteem comes as a result of experiences that make your child feel effective, capable and accepted.

1. Effective

   – this is when he gets positive results from the efforts he puts in. Such efforts could be getting close to a goal, trying hard, or even making progress. Take social service for instance. Your child will feel like a superhero by just learning how his participation is making the community a better place.

2. Capable

   – When your child learns something and does it by himself, there is no better way to make him feel capable of handling any situation.

3. Accepted

   – when your child feels understood by you, his parent, as well as by others close to him, he will feel accepted. This is when the praise and help you render to them will be genuinely accepted.

When your child has a healthy self esteem, the child will:

• Feel proud after carrying out a task successfully
• Feel accepted and valued
• Have confidence in his ability
• Feel ready to face any challenge
• Feel good about himself
• Have good thoughts about himself

And when your child has low self esteem, you will notice the following signs of low self esteem:

• Feeling insecure and unable to stand up to other kids
• Hard on himself and self-critical
• Lacks confidence
• Focuses too much on his failures than triumphs
• Have self-doubt and fails to believe in himself

How you can build your child’s self esteem from childhood

The good news is that self esteem can be poured into your child at an early stage. And if his self esteem is low, it can be raised. Here are things you can do to help your child build self esteem:

1. Allow your child do things by himself

   There is something a child can learn at any age. It could be as little as taking first steps, learning to hold a cup, to other advanced moves like riding a bicycle, partaking in a school debate/argument.

2. Show your child how to do it first

   You have to give him something to look forward to when learning something new. After showing your child how it’s done, allow him try it out by himself. Even if he makes mistakes, it is part of building self esteem into him. Practicing and finally getting it right is a good way to build his self esteem.

3. Apply wisdom when praising your child

   It is good to praise your child when he deserves it. But when you overdo it, it could backfire. Avoid over-praising. Instead of praising him when he didn’t get something right, encourage him to try it out next time and do better.

4. Set a good example

   Start setting a good example by taking responsibilities. That way, your child will learn first-hand the importance of taking responsibility. You can model the right attitude for him to learn from.

5. Avoid harsh criticism

   Words like – “you are a weakling,” “you are lazy,” or “you are plain stupid,” will hurt your child even more. This is one way to build low self esteem in him. Use more of positive words no matter how discouraged you are with his efforts.

6. Pay attention to his strengths

   Pay attention to what your child enjoys and does well. If it is worth developing, encourage him to develop that area. You will be giving him an opportunity to build on something that will give him a sense of accomplishment.

These tips will help you build your child’s self esteem quite early in life. Following these steps will put him on the path of success.

How do you build up your child’s self-esteem? Share your best tips in the comments. 

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