Anxious Kids: How to help your kids cope

Usually it’s parents that worry.

While it is generally considered that parents are the ones who bring worries into the family equation, always overthinking danger to their kids, sometimes it’s the children that beat them at this activity.

The tendency to worry a lot mostly starts in school, as that’s when children start feeling more pressure on many sides. Now, worrying can be “seasonal” or become a pattern of behavior which causes you to worry as well and starts an endless circle of worrying. And you will certainly want to intervene to prevent it from becoming your child’s routine.

So, what can you do when your child is anxious?

Understanding your child’s worries

Before assuming anything, we need to note caution. Sometimes anxiety is more complex than just worries, and often also includes physical symptoms. When that happens, it requires medical attention. Please seek professional help if your child’s anxiety is interfering with their daily lives.

Mild anxiety, on the other hand, manifests through moods and behavior. Your child might be more nervous than typical children, sometimes scared and overall tense. But both you and your child can learn to cope and make sure it doesn’t grow into a dominant model of behavior.

Finding the roots of the worries

Talk to your child when you notice they tend to worry about every little thing.

Parents most often find out their kids are stressed out because of tests, bad grades, the decisions they have to make which can affect their future. Sometimes we are not aware of all the pressure our children are facing. Among other reasons for worrying too much you may find in your child are conflicts with friends, teachers, school bullies etc.

It is essential to get to know the reasons behind the intensive worrying process and name them precisely so you’d know how to address them.

When you are causing their worries

Sometimes our kids feel like they need to be perfect in school or in the soccer field so we wouldn’t get mad.

We need to get over such gaps and show our children we don’t value them based on their grades or points they score in the field. In other words, we have to reduce the pressure – the school probably pressures them too much already. We also need to help them understand school is not made for them to prove their perfection to us or their teachers but to for them to actually learn something.

So, sticking to those basic things should already help our little ones get rid of some worries.

Show, don’t tell

If your kid sees you nervous all the time, drowning in worries, the chances are they will adopt such model of coping with things.

Try to reduce the display of your worries in front of your children – as children adopt some of our behaviors very spontaneously, you could easily teach your child how to worry without even noticing it.

If bringing worries home is inevitable, try spicing them up with some solutions or positive thoughts that prove that those worries are not the end of the world.

Offer your experience

All those worries our children are going through mostly fall within the framework of the experiences we have all had.

Whether they worry about school, first crush or annoying friend, we can say a few wise words about it and share a piece of advice with them.
You can tell them personal examples of situations which resemble the one that bothers them at the moment. They will probably feel their situation as more natural and understand that they are not alone in it.

And there are also some things to avoid when coping with a worrier.

• Don’t tell your child: “You worry over nothing.” They have their reasons and we cannot belittle them for that.
• There is no use to redirect their focus – distraction can be bad as it draws their attention from coping with their worries.
• Don’t express your disappointment too heavily. Maybe you are not too happy because your teen hasn’t cleaned their room in two weeks, but try to understand they are going through a tough period and the last thing they need is someone being disappointed with them.
• You should not make a big deal out of your child’s worries but don’t ignore them. Unlike anxiety and similar disorders, the tendency of worrying too much does not require any special treatment – quality talk and some time should be enough.

Finally, don’t worry – worrying is a normal part of growing up!

Do you have a child who worries too much? How do you cope with that? Feel free to share your experiences with us in the comments section.