Don’t be afraid of your preschooler’s fear!
One would assume their child will abandon most of their “silly” fears – wrong! That’s when many new fears emerge or the old ones get more complicated. The more they explore the world, the more their imagination develops, the more fears might occupy their minds. So how to help your preschooler with fear?
New experiences, new people, new things they learn about can spark a number of fearful reactions. This doesn’t have to cause fear in you as well – coping with fears is a perfectly normal part of growing up.
Here are a few tips on how you can cope with it painlessly as well.
Learn your child’s fear triggers.
Once you do, try to avoid pushing those buttons. Of course, you want your child to overcome those fears but it is better to work on it gradually than forcing your little one to face their fears immediately.
For instance, if your kid is afraid of the dark, don’t insist on turning the lights off during bedtime. Try leaving them with dim lights first or use night lamps until your brave little soul is ready to sleep without any lights.
Learn what helps.
We all had our little safe object when we were kids – something like Charlie Brown’s blanket – something that made us feel more comfortable. Be it a comfy blanket, your child’s favorite toy, a nice tune, once you learn what’s your child’s favorite comforting object or strategy, you should always have it around if the fear strikes.
Retell your own heroic stories of overcoming fears.
Whether you have had identical fear as your child or no, you can always come up with some interesting stories with you as the protagonist – the stories in which you have buried your fears. Our children look up to us, and if your child knows mommy was once also afraid and managed to become stronger than her fear, your child will probably want to achieve the same success.
Don’t overshare your adult fears in front of your child.
Children of 5 or 6 don’t have to listen about our fears. Our fears and worries in their full complexity could perhaps scare our little ones even more than they scare us, as they cannot fully comprehend their structure and meaning.
A friend of mine had a situation in which she worried that she will stay short on cash for a couple of months. Her daughter overheard her complaints. The little one cried her eyes out thinking that they will have to sell her toys so they could get some money.
Sounds silly, right? Children’s imagination does contribute to boosting some fears. So, try not to feed your child with any adult worries or fears, as they will become so scary even you will be more afraid than you should.
Help your child socialize.
Taking your child to a park to meet other children or scheduling playdates can distract your children from their fears. By getting out of their comfort zone, they are able to see new things do not have to be so scary. This is particularly essential to kids whose fears emerge from a weaker ability to adapt to new circumstances.
Do the good old rational talking.
Fears are often irrational, and that’s why rationalizing them often helps. By the age of 5 or 6, your children can already understand many things, and their logical thinking is developed enough for you to talk to them openly.
Try to get to the root of the problem and explain to them how they can be better than their fears.
Of course, go step by step, and don’t burden them with tons of theories on what’s rational and what’s irrational. You can also read some picture books or watch some movies on this subject and discuss your child’s fears through such narratives.
Acknowledge your child’s fears.
Many parents cannot accept that their children are afraid of silly things at this age. The worst thing to do when your kid is afraid of something is to tell them to stop being afraid. That’s not how to help your preschooler with fear.
It is not just inefficient – it can also hurt their feelings. They need to know you are there to understand and comfort them. Any sign of distrust or negation of their feelings is emotionally unhealthy.
Consider professional help.
If your child experiences specific fears which intensify, and if you don’t see any real progress in this field, it might be a sign of a phobia. In this case, you should consult a specialist. Again, this doesn’t mean that there is anything seriously wrong with your angel. The sooner you address such a problem properly, the easier it will be for all of you to solve it.
Chances are, it’s temporary and normal.
Some moderate fears are normal for this age, so try to understand them as temporary. Your child won’t fear the monsters under their bed forever.
For now, your role is to meet those monsters and gradually introduce your child to all the ways to say goodbye to them. And if the monsters are persistent, don’t fight the battle alone – feel free to get in touch with an expert. In any case, most of the childhood fears are easy to abandon over the time.
Do you have anything on how to help your preschooler with fear? Please, go ahead, join us in the comments.
For further reading try: When your Kids get Overwhelmed
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