How to help your child with anxiety and overcome fear
Is your child afraid of the dark? Screams at the sight of a dog? Or is afraid to sleep in his room alone at night? Children often can be fearful and worried, and as parents, it can be hard to know how to help your child with anxiety.
I wouldn’t blame our kids for being afraid when the things happening in our society is enough to make anyone afraid.
Many times, children naturally get scared of little things. This fear is associated with things they do not understand and will eventually outgrow.
And while you really should not be worried, if your child is practically getting scared of just about everything, then perhaps, you should start doing something about it.
1. Encourage your child to share his fears
If you can get your child to really share what he is afraid of with you, it will go a long way in helping him overcome the fear. Listening attentively will reveal the particular thing he is really afraid of.
For instance, my 4-year old used to be afraid of my friend’s dog because of the dog’s big mouth and teeth. According to him, they looked like they were going to bite him. I had to help him overcome his fear of dogs by bringing the dog closer and fondling with the dog’s ear and having the dog relax.
At first, he would always run and peep from afar. But after a while, he came to realize that the dog was actually harmless and wouldn’t bite him as he originally thought.
2. Exercise patience while talking your child through his fears
When you realize that your child is disposed to being afraid, you need to, first of all, be patient with him. No matter how annoying it might be, if you want to help your child with anxiety, never raise your voice at your child for being childish. This will only make things worse. If your child is not yet ready to face a particular fear, you can only patiently talk him through it.
All you can do is help him understand that what he is afraid of is really nothing to be afraid of. Help to comfort and calm him, and if possible, show him how he can overcome that fear. Once your child is ready to confront that fear, all those talks and patience will be worth it.
3. Encourage your child to turn off scary movies
Sometimes, most of the fears your child has are as a result of what he watches on TV, on the internet, from cartoons, and some video games. Monitor what your child is exposed to and teach him how to turn off the TV when something scary is being featured. This will be putting him in control over what he watches and help him overcome his fear.
It is advisable that you are careful of what your child watches especially close to bedtime. Get him kid-friendly DVDs that he can watch so as to reduce his exposure to some cartoons and games that usually make use of scary characters
4. Get storybooks that deal with fear
Another way to help your child overcome his fear is by reading story books on how other kids overcame their fears. There is something known as healing with books (Bibliotherapy). Here, you or your child can read about a character that had anxiety about a particular situation and how he was able to overcome it.
Such books will tell your child that they are not alone in their fear. And if other kids could overcome their fear, then he too will overcome his. Some books put humor into helping kids overcome fear. Try it.
5. Let him take the initiative
If your child is afraid of someone breaking into his room from the window, let him make it his priority to always make sure the window is shut before turning in for the bed. This will help him feel safe and will develop his sense of responsibility. You can also apply this to other areas of his life that he harbors some fear.
6. Allow him to face his fears
You will not always be there for your child. So the earlier you allow him to face his fears the better. You cannot shield your child forever. To help your child with anxiety, sometimes you’ll have to be a little stern.
For example, if your child is afraid of sleeping alone, you may have to stand your ground. Insisting that he sleeps in his room despite his fear of the dark will help him overcome this fear faster than any other thing. You can allow him dim his bedside light if it helps. But whatever happens, you have to stand your ground, especially on things that he has to do eventually.
7. Reach out for back rubs and hugs
Have you felt the urge to hug your child when he is going through a fearful situation? Well, the good news is that the hugs you give and back rubs go a long way in calming their fears according to a study carried out by the University of Miami. Encourage your child to ask for hugs when they are afraid.
8. Give him a badge for every fear he overcomes
When your child overcomes one fear, give him a badge or something he can regard as an award for the fear he has overcome. This way, he will be encouraged to tackle other fears he may have.
Remember that you cannot always protect your child from witnessing some fearful events since we live in an unpredictable world. Your best bet is to prepare him to face whatever situation he faces in life. [mc4wp_form id=”236″]
Kim says
Great tips! It can be so hard for the parents and for them to keep their cool or emotions together. You’re doing a great job.
admin says
Thanks Kim. I could give some tips as I ve been there like most of us and it s an everyday job… As I said it does take effort to create positive communication and patience but it is definitely worth it.
admin says
Thank you Kim. Love your website and the name of it by the way
Joanna says
These are wonderful tips! I especially like the idea of rewarding your child when they face their fear. Right now, my daughter is struggling with being afraid of the dark and going to bed. I think you are also right about being patient. When we try to get my daughter to go to bed, she seems to get much more panicky when we lose our patience. Calmness is key!
Mrs. Cherry says
These are wonderful tips. We always want what is best for our kids, seeing them suffer is so painful.
Gemma says
Thankfully my kids are not exhibiting anxiousness, but this makes me think of my old elementary students. There were so many that suffered from anxious behavior. I always thought it was crazy that 2nd and 3rd graders watched horror movies, that was definitely a big cause.
Heather says
Love this!! Inspiring guidance for parents!!
admin says
Thanks Heather
Holly says
These are great tips!
admin says
Thank you Holly
Samantha says
I can already tell my daughter has some sort of anxiety, especially when it comes to leaving us. I let her watch her favorite show as a reward after playgroup to show how proud of her I am! These are some great tips I am going to try!
admin says
Please let us know how they work for you! And if you have any suggestions for dealing with anxiety in kids, please share.