Anger seems to have become a trend in the lives of our kids.
It is increasing daily. Who would blame them though when the movies, cartoons, video games, and internet desensitize them to violence? But it can be hard to handle an angry child.
You would agree that kids love to try out what they have learned, whether good or bad. And since they have yet to differentiate between what is right and wrong, when they are exposed to violence from external forces, they will surely want to experiment.
Maybe you just told your child that he cannot go to the movies with his siblings, because he failed to clean his room as he promised. And instead of pleading with you, the child yells back in anger with some hateful words.
Perhaps you are reading this piece because you need help on how to handle such a child without making things worse.
Searching for anger meaning won’t solve the problem. You need more than that. But not to worry, because we have listed 7 ways that will help you handle the child without going overboard:
1. Don’t yell back
It might seem like yelling back at the child portrays you as exerting your authority. In the actual sense, it makes you look like you lack control of the situation. Exchanging words have never helped anyone and certainly won’t offer much help when it is between you and your child. To handle an angry child, avoid yelling back in the face of the crisis and allow the child sometime to calm down. The child will be more willing to listen to you when he is calm than when you are shouting back at him.
2. Keep cool
Kids with anger issues are not always easy to deal with. Chances are that when your child starts screaming, your heartbeat will start racing because of the rise in adrenaline. As hard as it may seem, learn to control yourself. When you succeed in taking charge of your emotions, you will be able to respond calmly. It also allows the child to see the mistake in his reactions since you are not making him angrier with your reaction. Your uncontrolled reaction is no way to handle an angry child. If you easily freak out in front of your angry child, it’s time to work on yourself so that you can always take charge of such situations.
3. Don’t get physical
If you are the type that hits your child when he or she yells at you, then maybe your child isn’t the only one that needs anger management for kids. You don’t know how to handle an angry child, if you resort to physical methods. You will certainly benefit from anger management classes. Getting physical with the child is teaching him to use force when confronted with situations beyond his control. You can ground him if he starts getting out of control, or withhold his allowance. Whatever you do, control yourself and refrain from getting physical with the child no matter the provocation.
4. Try a different approach
If your child is between 18 months to 4 years and is having a temper tantrum, you should try staying away from him but not in complete isolation. This is one of the best ways to handle an angry child. You need the child to understand that he has a role to play in calming himself down. You can ask him to lie down on the couch until he is feeling much better. Or you can ask him to go to his room and only come out when he has his anger under control. If the child does not do well with dishing out of orders, you can ask him nicely if he wants to spend some time alone so that he can get it together.
5. Don’t freeze up
One anger quote suggests that when your child is throwing tantrums, you shouldn’t get angry or give in. Some parents become emotionally paralyzed or overwhelmed when faced with such situation. That doesn’t not help you to handle an angry child. Some of them do give in to the child. And once your child notices that he has such control, he might start using anger tantrums to bait you and have his way. Stay in control and allow him to use his problem-solving skills to calm down.
6. Take it easy with the punishment
When you are in control of an anger situation with your child, you will be able to control the punishment you are dishing out. For instance, if your child is angry and screaming, and you say something like: “If you keep at it, I’m going to ground you for 3 days. Okay, now it’s 1 week. Young man, you just extended it to 2 weeks…”
Let’s see what’s wrong with this situation. Are you really willing to ground your child for 2 weeks? And not just that, dishing out more punishment to an already angry child will leave him angrier. It might also show you off as losing control of the situation. Be stern; give him the right punishment without being overly harsh.
7. Use the opportunity to teach your child how to react
It’s alright to teach your child how to handle anger issues by role-playing the right responses. In the midst of your child’s tantrum, you can say something like this, “I’m really upset right now, so I’ll take some time to calm down. I’ll come back later so that we can talk about it.” This is not displaying your weakness but showing your child a better way to handle the situation when he is angry.
Dealing with an angry child takes a lot of work.
It is not something you fix in a day. You need time to talk to your child about his anger issues and how to handle it should it arise. If the situation seems out of your control, you can always consider getting professionals who are good at anger management.
Also, pay attention to the type of friends your child keeps. And carefully choose the kids’ movies, kids’ games, kids’ YouTube, and kids’ songs against all others that predispose them to anger issues.
We will love to hear from you. Feel free to join in the conversation by leaving a comment below.
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