As a parent, your child is the most important person to you.

It doesn’t matter how successful or not you are, if there is any aspect you don’t want to fail, that would definitely be in bringing up your child the right way. You want to encourage your child to grow into a happy, kind, capable and confident adult. What positive words can you use?

Parenting is one job that is quite demanding, yet so fulfilling.

Admittedly, there are times your child will annoy, irk, or exasperate you.

At such times, you may be tempted to leave everything and take off.

But then, a parent’s love for his or her child can never be compromised.

For most parents, there is this special bond that is formed right from conception even before the baby makes an entrance into the world. You start honing your parenting styles right on time.

Parenting starts in our own childhood

If you are anything like me, then chances are that the words of encouragement or lack of it that you received during childhood helped in molding you into the person you are today.

As a high school student, I was bullied a lot, looked down on, told I was not smart and left feeling worthless.

I will forever be grateful to my mother who provided me with support and positive words, which helped me, make it through those trying times.

Today, I am a better person.

And although I’m not yet at the pinnacle of where I aim to be, I am doing just fine.

Now as a mother, I have made it a duty to consciously pass on the same legacy to my children.

It’s our duty as parents to use words to build our children and not tear them down.

When dealing with your child, use words to:

• Teach:

You should use words to describe things to your child so that child can learn it easily.

• Express love unconditionally:

Words are very powerful. One of the ways to show your child how much he or she means to you is through words like: “I love you,” “you mean the world to me.”

• Show gratitude:

It is very important to appreciate the little things that your child does. When you show appreciation for even the littlest of things, it will go a long way in encouraging such your child to go the extra mile to earn your appreciation even more.

• Motivate/encourage:

All of us need to be encouraged or motivated from time to time. How would you feel if the efforts you make at home are not appreciated? Or perhaps, you work so hard in your office and at the end of the day, no one appreciates it? That is the same way it feels when we fail to encourage our children when they are trying so hard at something. Whatever your child is battling with – studying, sports, music rehearsals, etc – need words of encouragement from you.

Instead of using words like “why is it so hard for you to grasp what that passage is all about?” use words like “sweetheart, your efforts will soon pay off.”

What’s the best way to train your child?

There’s this debate on what the best way to train a child is. The increasing violence in the world stemming from kids has been linked to child development.

The debate on whether authoritative parenting is the better than authoritarian parenting is still an ongoing one.

Personally speaking, the best way to bring up a child is to bring up such a child with love, support, truthfulness, kindness and reprimands when called for.

The carrot and stick method contained in some parenting quotes handbook has not yielded much, hence, the need for a change.

And that brings us to positive words that can change the course of your child’s growth for good.

Positive words you should be saying to your child often

According to Facts for Life, a child’s brain develops speedily during the first 5 years. The child experiences rapid social, cognitive, emotional, linguistic and motor development at this stage.

It is also the time the child bonds with the parents or close caregiver, which helps the child develop such things as positive social skills, learn, successful relationships at later ages, have high self-esteem and be self-confident, develop a sense of empathy.

If you are wondering where to start, here are 20 general phrases to get you started:

1. You made the right decision
2. It’s alright. We all make mistakes
3. I’m so proud of you
4. I trust you
5. That was very brave of you.
6. What do you think about …?
7. You are very good at…
8. That’s your best effort yet!
9. I like the way you handled that situation
10. You can do anything you set your mind to
11. It makes me happy when you…
12. You have what it takes
13. I forgive you for…
14. Thank you so much for helping me
15. That’s it! You are making good progress
16. You mean so much to me
17. That was so kind of you
18. I love you very much
19. You are an excellent helper
20. You figured it out!

Warning: don’t overdo it!

However, in dishing out words of affirmation to your child, you should not overdo it or make it them sound common to your child.

Fran Walfish, a child and family psychotherapist, lists 5 guidelines to help you out –

• Do not praise your child for achievements that are easy to come by
• Encourage your child to focus on learning and mastering skills as against competing with others
• Do not praise your child for something he or she already loves doing
• Encourage them to change traits that can be changed
• Genuinely praise them without being sarcastic or pretentious

Make room for correction

While it is advisable that you use positive words to build your child up, you should also make room for correction.

You don’t want your child growing up without knowing what is right and wrong.

Some parents are guilty of idealistic parenting, which is when a parent fails to see the wrong his or her child does.

I know you love your child very much, but it is important that you also point out their mistakes, especially, if there is a lesson to learn from the incident.

You don’t want your child to carry on with bad behavior all through life, do you?

If his or her action calls for grounding or any other punishment you deem fit, do not hesitate to do so. That is the point of positive parenting. It’s not child labour or abuse.

Ever heard of the biblical phrase: “spare the rod and spoil the child”? That saying is still as effective today as if it were written yesterday.

The point is to help your child be their best

All that has been discussed in this piece will help your child become the very best he or she is meant to be. It will come in handy if you want him or her to be a child of light.

While you are advised to use these words often, be careful not to make the words sound too common to your child.

And if you are wondering if repeating such words will make any difference to your teenager who already seems to be falling out of line, always remember that there is power behind repetition.

And just like the words of my sweet late mother, you never can tell which of your words of encouragement will help your child out during trying times.

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